hopelessly_confused on Datingish

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

should I stay or should I go?

So normally I have things pretty much figured out for myself. I know what type of guys I like and what type of guys are no good for me. I didn't think it would get much more complicated than that. Until I met "John" Basically, I met "John" over the summer one night and we hit it off. He was funny, smart, cute, and caring. He seemed to be the whole package and more. We would text from dawn until dusk, even for a whole week while he was in Puerto Rico. He made me feel special and like I was somebody. I couldn't ask for more.

Although, there was a catch we could neve have a "relationship" He's got a girlfriend that he's been seeing for over a year. He loves her. But he doesnt always feel like she is there for him or truly understands him. Which is where I come in. We started "hooking up" a while ago, it started with a simple kiss and lead on from there. We realized that we could be totally open with eachother and still feel comfrotable. My friends tell me that one day we might end up together if I just hold on a little longer, and he'll sometimes give me an indication that he wants something more, but because he's never done this before he's weary and scared of new beginnings.

Now, its been about 6 months of us "seeing" eachother on occassion. (We dont hook up all the time, we barely see eachother) But we talk all time, we talk about life, love, god, things about our day and our family. He's been my best friend these past months. He's been someone I can confide in and I know it's safe. Because of him I've cut off ties with other guys just in the hope that we would somehow become something. But now that it's been so long I'm starting to question myself more and more. Should I keep holding on even though there is no future? Or should I just give up because I'm just leading myself into this fantasy? Have any of you gone through this similar sitaution? And how did you handle it, any advice?

Thursday, 17 December 2009

Is age "nothing but a number?"

I work everyday at a elementry school across from my house. I have the job title as "Student Helper" which basically means that I'm a janitor that works more and gets paid less. When I'm working I usually don't look around or attempt to talk to any teachers or students passing by.

One night I was told to lock up the school, which meant i had to wait for every teacher and student to leave the building even after i had finished my duties. Everyone had left but these groups of children getting tennis lessons in the gym. All the Children had gone home and now the instructor was walking out to his car. Out of the blue he taps on my shoulder while im locking a door, he asks who I am and what I do at the school. He told me his name was Oliver, and I told him that my name is Lesia and I explained my job, a few minutes in he asks if I have a facebook, i replied with a yes and spelled my name for him. Being excited was the first of my emotions.

When I got the request on facebook i was eager to find out more about him. The first thing i saw was his birthday, I was shocked when i saw the year "1980" This meant he was 29 years old. I'm 18, so that leaves us an 11 year difference. At first I wasn't sure what I should do, hangout with him and find out more, or rule him out because were far off when it comes to age. So in my confused state, I talk to my friends. After talking to them I think i became even more confused than I was before I talked to them. Half of my friends gave me the brutal truth that 11 years apart is disgusting and could mean he's a pervert and the other half tell me that age is nothing but a number and you can't help who you're attracted to so go with the flow and get to know him.

so tell me, when is age "nothing but a number?"